How to increase sex drive?
Often, tips and tricks for more sex drive are centered within the four walls of the relationship, in the bedroom with our loved one. But an overlooked aspect of sex drive is the importance of sisterhood.
Sexual desire is not just reserved for sex, because as I see it, sexual desire is our LIFE ENERGY . This is what we can create a child with. It is basically our zest for life and joy in life. It is what makes us human, and through which we feel life flowing through us.
And what gives joy in life is at least being in a positive sisterhood of good friends.
The importance of sisterhood for healthy sex drive
Don't you also know how liberating it is to be in a community of girls where you can laugh and cry and talk about sex and pleasure without shame and celebrate each other and give each other full permission to be honest and vulnerable and sexual. A positive sisterhood just means that we can let go of the facade and all the filters we have put up around ourselves and yes, our sexuality.
I have experienced that a deep conversation with an old friend about sex and love felt like a stone falling from the heart. And the next day I felt a spark of joy in my body and a pulsation of desire in my womb. Which makes sense, because we know by now that women's orgasms go through the heart.
A stone fell from my heart, yes, but one stone may not be enough, because a stone can become a wall if you have experienced deeper sisterly wounds and have had trust broken.
Have you perhaps not also tried to get over an argument with your best friend, break with important friendships, experience misunderstandings and cat fights ? How did it make you feel?
Cultural indoctrination of sister wounds
We were brought up in a culture where girls compare themselves a lot to each other, and where we compete against each other's beauty and success. I can clearly remember from school that the girls who were prettier and more pop than me were my competition. So I tried to be different and pretend it didn't matter to me when it really did. I would probably rather be friends with them.
So our culture is already helping to program us to create deep sisterly wounds, instead of celebrating each other and lifting each other up.
Preventing cat fights through better understanding of the menstrual cycle
And on top of that, we also have to deal with hormones, imbalances, menstrual pain and PMS symptoms – and when we get older maybe childbirth, postpartum depression, menopause, etc.
I believe that a lot of unfriendliness among girls happens during the premenstrual period, when it doesn't take much to piss one off. A great many damaged friendships could therefore be prevented if we knew more about the menstrual cycle and when we need to relax more (up to and during menstruation) and when we have more energy (up to and during ovulation).
With a clearer understanding of the menstrual cycle, we can support our friends more through the different phases.
Most importantly, it is especially up to and during menstruation, when we can give her care by cooking good food, cleaning for her, braiding her hair, giving a massage – and ultimately love. All of this increases oxytocin, the love hormone that bonds between people and creates more zest for life (= sex drive).
When we as women are in a community, our menstrual cycle will also be harmonized, which in itself shows how connected we are through our womb. You may have experienced yourself that when you have lived closely with other girls, you have started to menstruate at the same time. D was usually once because we lived much closer together in small communities. But in our modern world we are much more alone and that in itself is unnatural for our feminine body.
Sisterhood and the womb
We need other women in our lives and we need to celebrate each other much more for optimal joy in life.
Sisterhood resides in the feminine crown, in the womb. Imagine your inner fire, your sex drive, as a bonfire inside your womb. This fire must be cultivated and nurtured. And what better way than by having a few ladies dance around the fire.
What I have observed in my own body therapy and work with clients is that within the womb we hold all of our female archetypes: yourself as a child, young girl, mother and older wise wife. And my own thesis is that we also hold every significant woman we have met in our lives. In terms of energy, of course.
If we can hold on to trauma, romantic relationships and sexual experiences in our wombs, then of course we can also hold on to our girlfriends.
It therefore makes sense that we can put out the inner fire if we suddenly don't have any girls and women in our lives to dance around it with.
For the sister wounds, we also keep them in the womb. And if we keep a lot of them, we can create a wall stone by stone. A wall from the heart to the womb that eventually blocks you from being connected to your sexuality and joy and also blocks you from inviting new friendships into your life.
The wall around the uterus can come from sexual and gynecological trauma, and many women hold onto these. And when they are unsaid, it can lead to distancing and conflicts between friends. That is why it is so important that in a sisterhood you can also talk about the difficult topics and give space to talk about when sex hurts.
Connected wombs
If we think about the fact that we influence each other through our uterus, there is a great potential for healing in a community of other women. Imagine a woman who has worked with the yoni egg and with her sexual healing and development, and then imagine her opening up her sex drive and her womb energy. Her renewed experience with her uterus not only affects herself, but will create ripples in the water for the women around her who also begin to connect more positively to her pussy magic. So we are not separated from each other, but oh so connected. We are all created in a womb and we all hold the cosmic mother within our womb.
So imagine a woman who has a weak connection to her sexual center and holds on to a great deal of shame. In a community with her, she will send out a lot of shame and guilt and if you just mention the word s** or your sexual traumas, you will be looked down upon. It's not exactly the kind of sisterhood we want to have.
So my call to other girls and women is let's recognize the importance of sisterhood to our shared sexual health and happiness, and let's start talking about it and cultivating it.
Here are some really good measures you can take to increase the sisterhood and create more sex drive for everyone!
- Don't judge, but celebrate each other's desires, enjoyment and experiences with sex and love
- Create a safe space to be able to share about fears, longings and achievements
- De-taboo sex and sexual problems and talk about them!
- Be open about talking about sexual experiences and gynecological experiences, good and bad, because that way trauma can be healed and our wombs can be awakened and opened.
- Support your friend through the female phases, e.g. during menstruation by performing just one good deed for her and at the postpartum time if she has given birth to a child.
- Decorate each other by doing something so beautiful and caring, namely braiding each other's hair and braiding a flower into the hair.
- Create women's circles with ceremonial cocoa and dance.
- Make a ritual for your friend in times when change or healing is called for. Something very beautiful is to ritually wash her with water over her womb and heart and sprinkle rose petals over her body. Just doing more rituals for the women in your life will have an impact on how happy we are as women and allow the inner fire of the womb to stay lit.
I send you so much erotic love!
<3
Helen L.